How to Save and Fix a Broken Relationship

There are so many commonalities to all of these where the answers are identical.

Let's start with some foundations.

1. The Relationship Triangle

   For most men, the relationship is made up of husband and wife. Girlfriend and boyfriend. This is absolutely inaccurate. Let us present a different approach: You + Her + Relationship = Marriage

   You must take the relationship as its own entity. Kind of like a corporation. It thrives and survives (or not) on its own. You contribute to it and your partner contributes to it. You have a more masculine contribution and she has a more feminine contribution. As the partner, you must understand both your role to the relationship and her role so that when she contributes, you understand what's happening (instead of getting upset or triggered by it).

   One of your biggest roles is leading the relationship and one of her biggest roles is managing the relationship. Management of the relationship includes intimacy, communication and how close or apart the two of you are. Leading has to do with the aspects of what you initiate in the relationship. You lead then she manages from there.

   This concept alone is a game changer for a marriage. However, most men get triggered by it until they fully understand the approach. It is critical that you fully understand this, otherwise your marriage is doomed long-term.

2. Masculine vs. Feminine

   In today's society, it is all about pushing for equality. On all fronts. Gender, workplace, opportunities, sexuality etc. This is very good and should be continued. However, one of the things that get mixed up in this trend is thinking that the masculine has the same roles as the femine in a relationship. This cannot be further from the truth. This misconception is causing depolarization in society where men are becoming more feminine and women are becoming more masculine. In turn this is destroying attraction between couples long-term.

   The need to understand healthy masculinity and healthy femininity is all the more critical. Once you understand how the masculine and feminine operate, what motivates them and what is important to them (all different for both sides) then you can begin to grasp the tools available to save your relationship.

3. Terms

   Terms are a man's non-negotiables. Most men are compromising themselves in their life and relationship. They have lost their true masculine identity. As a result, they agree to do things that go against who they are as a man or they decide not to do things that go against who they are as a man. It is essential that you identify your terms as a man and implement them right away in your life and relationship. This creates safety for your partner because it let's her know the boundaries in which to manage the relationship. It also allows her to respect you. Lastly, it boosts your confidence and decision making process while not having you feel like you are enabling your partner. Terms come before the relationship. In other words, not compromising your terms is more important than the relationship. When you compromise who you are to please her, you are pretending to be somebody else than who you really are. Essentially you become a puppet and she is the puppeteer. Once you are clear on your terms and live accordingly, it resets the tone for the both of you in a healthy way. Terms is a must.

4. Prioritization of Actions

   There is a series of 4 steps we teach men to prioritize their actions by. This males decision making is very simple and allows a man to categorize what decisions should be made through commitment vs through feelings. Out Of the 4, the first 3 are based on commitment and the last is based on feelings. This tool is important because decision-making is a masculine trait and expected from the feminine. Yet, so many men want to please their wife and cannot make decisions. This is unsafe and unattractive for her.