Are you finding yourself asking "how to make my wife
love me again"?... or "how to make my wife love me
again after separation"?
Such a scary question and being in this situation is
never good. There are so many conflicting thoughts
that go through your head that you end up spinning in
circles not knowing where to look, who to listen to
and what actions to take.
Your mental and physical health takes a toll as well
during these times because of the amount of real
estate these questions take up in your head which
results in fear and then it starts to manifest into
physical symptoms - like losing weight due to stress.
It is during these times that a man makes all the bad
moves in trying to "quickly fix" years, potentially
decades of damage. Begging, pleading, trying to
impress, arguing etc.
The truth is that all of this is driven by
How to get your wife to love you again, starts with
getting rid of this desperation.
I mean, seriously, have you ever performed well in
convincing someone to do something when you were
Whether it's in business, sales, or any form of
The answer is an obvious no.
Desperation is an emotional state that has you do
radical things which in most cases fire back and bite
you in the bummy.
Are there exceptions? Sure, but let's face it, barely
Now, let's also look at your wife's side.
What woman on earth would want to be with a man who
It feels fake, suffocating and a total turn off for
No different when you try to pick up a girl at a club
to get laid in a desperate fashion - they smell it
right away and want nothing to do with it (no matter
how sexy or good looking you are).
At this point the question you are asking yourself is
"how do I get rid of desperation then"?
Now that you are clear that desperation doesn't serve
anybody and that you have admitted to yourself that
you are desperate, let's look at next steps.
You need to understand why you became desperate.
There are several reasons for that. The most
important one is the emotional side.
When your wife tells you she doesn't love you
anymore, your world shatters. Your hopes and dreams
of an everlasting vow and forever after fairy tale
marriage starts to collapse.
Your image of a safe and secure family along with the
comfort it provides is at risk.
The more firm she is on not loving you the harder the
crash happens for you. The fairy tale story seems
less and less likely and you just don't understand
what or when things went wrong.
You desperately start to search for answers from her.
Yet still you don't understand what is going on.
Well, you need to understand that the current version
of you as a husband will NEVER BE ABLE TO GET HIS
WIFE TO LOVE HIM AGAIN.
Yes, in capital letters I wrote it. For a reason.
This leaves you with, who do I need to become to have
her love me again?
To start that process, you need to let go of the
hopes and dreams from your old marriage.
We call this "grieving the slap". Slap being the hurt
and pain of her not loving you anymore and grieving
being you letting out the hurt and pain.
This is important so that you don't do the work on
yourself for the wrong reasons - which typically gets
summed up to manipulating your wife to love you.
Do not do that because let's face it, the question is
how to win back your wife's heart so that she is "in
love" with you again.
But the REAL QUESTION is, how do you do that so it is
long-term and lasting?
Once you grieve the hopes and dreams of the old
marriage, you can now begin laying down the
foundations for a new marriage (with the same women
That new relationship will never be like the old one
for 2 reasons:
- Old one didn't work ... clearly
- You will be a different man so the new
relationship will be different too
Once you have grieved the slap and now you are
motivated to truly work on yourself because you no
longer tolerate the old version of you, a whole new
universe opens up.
Your level of responsibility and ownership starts to
Your confidence skyrockets.
Your wife starts to test you calling bullshit on the
changes she is experiencing (fast mind you).
You no longer base your performance on what your wife
says or does because you get that she will be testing
you until she trusts that these changes are here for
Low and behold, here you are no longer desperate.
You are doing the things that work confidently and
Now you just need to stay consistent and add a few
skill sets on top to create the desire in her to love