How to Get Your Ex Back

(without enabling her and losing yourself in the process)

The Step-by-Step Manual to a Successful Marriage

What You're Going to Learn

  • The 5-Step Plan Bulletproof Husband™s used to rebuild their marriage even if she said she doesn't want to anymore
  • Why you doing everything in the relationship is NOT a good strategy for rebuilding your marriage ... And how you can gain her respect towards you back starting today
  • The secret to being fully confident and clear about what she wants from you as a husband ... And how to have your marriage on your own terms
  • How Bulletproof Husbands seamlessly get their wife's trust back while following a very clear step-by-step approach
  • The essence of becoming a Bulletproof Husband™ without losing yourself in the process
  • And how they do all of this without any doubt and frustration
TBH

Presented by
Endre Gabori

Endre Gabori is the founder & CEO of the Bulletproof Husband™. He’s helped married men all over the world rebuild their marriage, while making sure that they do not compromise themselves in the process.

Recent Success Stories

"Nothing like this exists anywhere else"

“The Bulletproof Husband™ has fundamentally changed my life – the tools, systems and guidance provided was invaluable to rebuilding myself as a man, father and husband for my family.”

Matthew B Financial Analyst

"This is paying off in spades"

“My happiness in life and with my marriage has gone up massively over the last 8 weeks. Instead of reacting to my wife, I create a space for her to be the woman, the wife and the mother that she wants to be. This is paying off in spades. Every new day is better than the last. As a man, watching this unfold in my life is a priceless experience. “

Dave D. Wealth Management Advisor

"I am in the best place I have ever been"

“I spent years and a ton of money on different kinds of therapy and coaching. While it served me to get back on my feet in the business world and as a father to 3 little kids nothing clicked in my head like the program at Bullet Proof Husband.”

Stephen T Entrepreneur

"From divorce papers to reconciliation"

“I went from a marriage that was absolutely heading to lawyers for Divorce 3 months ago to a marriage that has my wife telling me “in 4-6 months she will move me back into my room with her.” That’s huge progress!”

James V Roofer

How You Got Here

How to win your ex back is such a frequently asked question. In addition to that, here are some other ones men ask us:

"how to get wife back" "how I got wife back" "how to get my ex wife back"
"how to get back together with your ex" "how to get my wife back" "how to get my wife back after separation"
"how do i get my ex back" "how to get back in a relationship with your ex" "how to get your wife back"

The short answer is "Bullets".

We call insecurities "Bullets". Hence the name "The Bulletproof Husband™".

This is a husband who has dealt with his insecurities and also is capable of dealing with any future ones that come his way.

Ok, so now what the hell is insecurity?

You are probably thinking of things like blaming, feeling a certain way, being out of control etc.

None of those are insecurities.

They are all results and behaviors BECAUSE OF BEING INSECURE.

Listen, I don't blame you for not knowing.

Truth is, 90% of marriage therapists and counselors don't know the answer concisely as to what insecurity is.

So let me lay it down for you and then I will expand.

Insecurity is "SUPPRESSED HURT".

Hurts that you suppressed in the past (starting from age 5 and onwards) and never dealt with them.

Let me explain.

Core insecurities come from mainly 2 age groups:

  • 5 to 8 years old - this is when you experience the notion of failure for the first time and the fact that the world is not as rainbow as you thought
  • 11 to 13 years old - this is when you start to socialize and the need to "belong" emerges along with all the challenges of it

Examples of are:

  • Teacher or friends call you stupid
  • You are bullied
  • A girl makes fun of you
  • Your father/mother beats you
  • You are sexually molested
  • Your father/mother says you are not good enough for anything
  • You experience abuse between your parents
  • Your parents divorce or separate
  • Your relative or friend molests you

The list goes on and on...

When any of the events happened in these age groups, you got hurt.

Now, the real challenge was that as a child you were not capable of blaming others for why you are hurting. Your part of your brain wasn't developed yet to do that.

So the automatic process that took place is that you subconsciously blamed yourself instead.

For example:

  • My parents must be divorcing because they don't love me
  • I must be bullied because I am weak
  • The teacher must be making fun of me because I am stupid
  • My parents don't approve of me because I must not be worth it

Again...list goes on with examples.

This happened because you needed to justify the hurt somehow and the only way you were able to do so is by blaming yourself which resulted in LABELING yourself also.

Once you labeled yourself, you quickly realized that you cannot survive constantly feeling hurt.

So, you started to create survival behaviours to protect yourself.

These survival behaviors are overcompensating behaviors which means that they are typically the opposite of your label and on the radical side.

For example:

  • If you labeled yourself as stupid your survivor behaviors can include:
    • The need to be always right
    • Over explaining everything so you avoid looking stupid
    • Over analyzing
    • Constantly educating yourself so no one can find out that you are stupid
  • If you labeled yourself as weak your survivor behaviors can include:
    • Being controlling so you look strong
    • You being extra fit and strong physically
    • Being argumentative to display strength
  • If you labeled yourself as not worthy your survivor behaviors can include:
    • Pleasing
    • Begging
    • Not worthy of others time
    • Not asking for help

There are so many other examples which we cannot go into here but the list is huge.

There are also common behaviors across bullets, like avoiding.

Avoiding can happen through burying yourself into work to avoid being home all the way to alcohol or substance abuse and self-harm.

Pay extra attention to this next part please.

Your wife knows all of your bullets within the first 2 years of living together.

Why?

Many reasons.

First of all, she operates from the feminine and her intuition is way more advanced than the masculine.

Secondly, women's highest priority above anything else is safety and security.

  • Emotional safety
  • Physical safety
  • Mental safety
  • Financial safety
  • Spiritual safety

Hence, she will do whatever is necessary to feel safe and secure by constantly being aware of the threats in her environment - she will also execute tests to determine safety and security.

A husband who is insecure and ridden with bullets is NOT SAFE for her.

The more unsafe she feels the more she will test you to give signals that something needs to change.

This can go on for 2+ years and if her efforts are not noticed or acted upon, then she will give you the SLAP!

  • I love you but not in love with you
  • I want to divorce
  • I want to separate
  • I want to be friends
  • I am not happy anymore
  • I cheated on you
Now, you can understand why pointing the finger at her and blaming her doesn't do any good.

You must demonstrate safety and security for her to win your ex back.

To do that, you must become self-sufficient as a man yourself.

How the hell can you provide safety and security for her if you are not safe and secure yourself!

Frequently Asked Questions

Getting rid of bullets is not a logical process. It is an emotional process that allows you to get rid of your suppressed hurts which you have been holding on to for so long. This is a muscle you need to build and master over time. Husbands who have been in the military (anything from Marines to Navy) often say “learning to pull bullets was much tougher than any military training I have ever done and without The Bulletproof Husband™ I would not have been able to do that”. There are dozens of ways to effectively do emotional work which we teach husbands.

Because it is the ONLY thing that causes permanent change. Husbands who try to change but cannot do so because they are using Willpower which is a finite resource. Willpower runs out and when it runs out, you blow up (arguments, out of control actions). When you pull your bullets through emotional work, it creates permanent change unlike just using Willpower. Most people fail at New Year’s resolutions because they don’t deal with the core problem – their bullets which cause the behavior. You cannot change a behavior permanently unless you have dealt with the core.
Yes. Life throws curveballs at you (death of someone, disappointments etc.). However, the impact is very small because you have dealt with all your past bullets. In addition, once you master pulling your bullets, you can easily deal with any new, future ones that come your way.

Absolutely. Every human being has bullets because they happen during our childhood. It is part of the development of a child.

First by leading the way and getting rid of yours. Until you do, she has to babysit your emotions and she will worry that you can’t handle the more intimate and deeper things because it offends you. Then once you deal with your bullets, there are strategic ways to help her get rid of her (to which the process is different for women than for men).

Immediately. You feel like a 50 ton gorilla is off your shoulder and parts of your behaviors alter right away. Seriously. Then, there are some parts of your behavior that you alter intentional which is now easy because the core has been dealt with.

Featured Blogs by The Bulletproof Husband™

Take Control of Things You Can Leading to Winning Your Wife Back

I swear I got 50 million reasons to be bummed out today as life is truly testing me! Yet, I am not. Why is that? Control. I control what I can and don't what I cannot. What that does is it eliminates the unnecessary stress and anger from my life and allows me to focus on the things that move the...
Read more...

By Learning to Take Responsibility for Your Side, the Probability of Your Wife or Ex-Wife Following

Anytime you achieved something great… something that took your life to the next level… It always felt uncomfortable right before. Very uncomfortable. You were nervous. Unsure. Doubting even. All natural feelings and state of mind. Getting your driver license. First exam in high school or university. First job interview. Your wedding. List goes on. Understanding this is important because then...
Read more...