An example of an external win that happened purely because of internal wins from the weeks prior
I have been telling you the last couple days how challenging the past few weeks have been and how my wife and I came out successful on the other side.
I also shared some things that I used from TBH to get there.
My wife sent me this the other night lol (yes, I do pretend to be angry as part of foreplay as it turns her on – promise it’s fully controlled).
This is an example of an external win that happened purely because of internal wins from the weeks prior.
Had I not celebrated the internal wins and had I not taken actions according to what I can control, this external win wouldn’t have happened. Probably the opposite would have to be honest.
This goes for you as well.
When you are rebuilding your marriage, you must go all in on internal wins and celebrate them.
It will boost your confidence and shift your being which your wife will notice immediately.
She may not acknowledge it for you (because she is hurt) but it is noticed. Guaranteed.
Here is another husband from our Tribe who is so confident and so clear on his internal wins that he can pursue his wife from a place of playfulness and gaining all these external wins from her because of the work on himself.
My wife is playing back with me. She is letting me pursue her and she is responding in small ways. She looked great tonight when she got home from work. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. And she knew it, too.
She was playful with me because she knew that I was into her. I told her she looked so good. I asked her if she had a new top? She said that it was kinda new. Then I asked her a few mins later if she got her hair done today. She said no and smiled. When I told her she looked fucking awesome she said, “not for long, I’m about to go upstairs and change.” And then I said, “don’t change!” “Let me enjoy looking at you for a min.”
She stayed in her work clothes and let me continue to enjoy her beauty. We talked and I ate while she made her veggie sandwich. I then got up and acted like I needed something from the fridge and then walked over slowly and leaned down near her. I kissed her shoulder And she playfully told me to back off. I didn’t and she faced me and said playfully, “I don’t want you around me while you have food in your mouth.” I then swallowed and went in for a kiss and she smiled and kissed me back. And then she said with a smirk, “go sit down and finish your food.” I went and sat down.
I snapped some pics of her and the last one she said, “stop taking pictures of me!”. I said, “I can’t help it, you look so fucking good.” She was eating it up. She said with a smile, “shhh, don’t say that in front of the kids.”. And I said, “I don’t care if the kids know that I am into their mother.”
My daughter then wanted to go to the park with my wife. They roller blade and have fun. My wife told my daughter that maybe dad would take you. Then my wife looked at me and said, “will you take her so I can eat?” “I just got home from work.” I said no problem. The old me would have been irritated because MNF was on and I usually watch the game. I’m in a better place with my terms, so watching football is last on my list these days. Pretty hard for this old football coach who has spent the better part of his life watching the game.
While at the park with my daughter, she was playing with friends from school. I spoke to and threw the ball for the dog. – calls a few mins later to see where we were. We walked home and when I got home, my wife had only changed her pants to shorts and kept the rest of her outfit on. I don’t want to think too much about this, but I think she kept it on for me. But maybe she kept it on because I made her feel desired. She had an old familiar smile on most of the night. It was the old flirtatious smile that haven’t seen from her in a long while. Lots of wins during tonight’s exchanges. I am building more trust, making her feel beautiful and desired, and keeping to my terms of emotionally taking care of my kid.
Endre created The Bulletproof Husband™ (TBH) after witnessing dozens of men lose their marriage time and time again because they did not have the sufficient resources or tools to keep it together.